So far, there are seventeen seats with asses in them on the 2016 Republican presidential candidate Whacko-mobile. Most are spineless cretins, hailing from across a wide spectrum of crazy that has become the modern day Republican party. Some familiar names have been tossed into the ring so far this year- former Latino Jeb Bush, Scott "Fuck the Unions" Walker, Rick "I Heart Glasses Now" Perry, Chris "Total Self Control" Christie, and the whitest Cubano to hit U.S. shores since Ricky Ricardo, Marco Rubio, just to name a few.
Other than the "R" in front of each of their names, what do all of these so-called "contenders" have in common? I'll tell you: they've all been made a fool of by one man. They have all been steamrolled, outsmarted, out-dimwitted, and shouted over by none other than the grand poo-bah of creepy dead animal toupee enthusiasts, Donald Trump...and the media wants to make sure you hear every. single. word. Unfortunately, we're letting them do just that.
"The Donald", as I and many others prefer to call him, by no purpose or fault of his own incidentally, has become the presidential candidate that this once-great nation has actually come to deserve. By all designs and standards, it is way too early to tell, but God dammit, I hope this weasel wins. Before anyone accuses me of completely losing my marbles, bear with me for a few paragraphs. Or, at least until your modern day attention span that is slightly akin to that of a ferret on heroin, wears thin.
Trump has found the perfect recipe for playing in today's political game. Mix two cups Toby Keith-style "We'll put a boot in yer' ass/I hate Mexicans" redneck populism, with ten cups New York corporate elitism, and gently fold together with a healthy splash of "I hate the Chinese, though I'll gladly have their children make my clothing line". Bake at six hundred and sixty-six degrees for several twenty-four hour news cycles and remove from oven. Finally, let sit on any cable "news" window sill for a few nanoseconds before serving to the public. The end result is a foul-tasting, fresh-baked turd, wrapped in bull shit, lightly dressed in a perfectly acidic fecal vinaigrette, with a healthy sprinkle of Trump "hair" on top.
Since announcing his presidential run on June sixteenth of this year, "The Donald" has made some astounding statements. He has said that most of the Mexicans that are coming to America illegally are rapists. Trump stated that Senator John McCain is not a war hero because he was captured and subsequently held as a prisoner of war by the Vietcong. (I just had a mini stroke from typing that sentence). He has most recently said that if it came down to it, as President, he would shut down the entire government over his anti-Planned Parenthood stance. Most laughably, in my opinion, he has made the claim that he is "the most successful man to ever run for President." Obviously success is measured by going bankrupt several times over and by how many dead baby fox hides you keep in your (H)UUGE, gold-plated walk-in closet. Who knew?
In a recent CBS poll, Donald Trump leads the Republican nominee field with twenty-four percent of those polled wanting to see Trump crowned the nominee for the party. The runner up? Jeb "My Last Name Will Betray me" Bush, with a whopping thirteen percent. This, my friends, is nauseating. It is everything that is wrong with our nation at this moment. My mind is bent with disturbing images of President Trump, side-by-side with V.P. Bush, holding hands with Secretary of Interior Hunting Lodge Design, Sarah Palin- standing atop a 40 foot high fence on the southern border, all of them screaming "You're Fired!" as Palin pumps a few rounds into the poor souls trying to escape the poverty and brutal cartels. I'm sick to my stomach. As we all should be. But this is what we deserve, America. This is what we get for letting the corporate media swine hijack our minds, giving them permission to basically tell US who and what is important in the upcoming election season.
It seems as if we as a society have decided that our middle class deserves nothing less than to be brought back 'round the barn and taken out Old Yeller style, despite higher productivity for lower wages. We don't really seem to give much of a shit about the environment, either. You don't have to be a stinky hippy who cries at tree funerals to know that pumping smoke, gas and exhaust fumes at astounding rates into the atmosphere is not really what our globe was built for.
We let the freaks at Fox & Friends and the testically-deficient Chuck Todd of Meet The Press dominate conversations about what is important in today's America. For what? Ratings and advertising dollars? Is that what our future is worth to Fox "News", NBC, and C"N"N? Keep watching, everybody. Their ratings are through the roof with furry clowns like Trump and the other incredulous vermin of his ilk. The corporate "news" phantoms are winning. As an enlightened citizenry, we are circling the drain.
The news outlets basically laugh at candidates like Bernie Sanders, (who probably can't win a nomination as a self-described, Scandinavian-style Democratic Socialist) but that isn't the point. Sanders champions for the waning middle-class. He also is the only candidate I hear talking about getting the corrupt money out of these election cycles, and the only one talking about putting criminal bankers in jail. Like him or not, socialist or not, issues like these need to be at the forefront of the discussion, not attention-seeking fuckbags like Donald Trump.
We need to have a media that puts the focus on real problems that we all face together, regardless of political leanings. We need to fight for renewable energy sources. We need our troops to come home. Now, if you're going to tell me, "The Internet has plenty of news sources that tell the important stories"...stop. Just stop. Don't get me wrong, I somewhat agree, but it isn't enough. Online articles from "The Huffington Post" or "The Atlantic" are far too easily pushed aside as "partisan" or sometimes labeled as "conspiracy theory".We need Walter fucking Cronkite. We need to see the flag-draped coffins coming home every day from the middle-east. We need investigative reporters finally catching C.E.O.'s making the "elusive" quid pro quo back door deals with the politicians that are supposedly working for OUR best interests. There needs to be a countdown clock to the end of the polar ice caps. Well, let's maybe not go that far, but you get the point.
What we don't need, is to know how many more redneck governors said something outrageous about how all of you evil homos are going to ruin the sanctity of their seventh marriage. There is no need for another hour-long segment about how one former congressman believes we are in the End Times. We DO NOT need Donald Trump ranting about how he'll basically beat the crap out of the Chinese if they don't get on board the 'Murrica train. We have real problems and too many distractions. Enough is enough. The media is not taking us seriously, it is high time we return the favor. Cut the cord, get rid of your cable and NEVER stop blasting these charlatans.
Until we come together with the full fury and power of the many against the few that believe they rule over us, we will all get what we deserve...and according to the ratings, what we deserve is President "The Donald" Trump.
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