Buckle up, buckaroos.

As I wait for Hillary Clinton to emerge from the dreariness of her hotel room to give her concession speech, I am hungover from a night of tension, anxiety, and cheap beer. My mind is somewhere that I cannot define. Deconstructed gray matter floating amidst a hazy ether of disbelief and relief. What now?

There are a few things that I would like to say. Before this election, I could not stand to watch the Democratic party that I belong to be so beholden to corporate campaign donors and in the primaries, I voted for a candidate that I felt exemplified the ideals of the Democratic party that I wished to be a part of. That candidate was thrown under the bus, run over, and buried by the shady career politicians that hijacked the Democratic National Committee.

I could not cast a vote for either of the candidates that ran in this election. My intuition was screaming at me loud and clear, my conscience would not allow it. Accuse me of being “part of the problem” of Clinton not getting elected but remember this: the state I live in went completely blue, with Clinton winning the popular vote and the electoral vote. I stand by my decision to write in my candidate. It was my small act of protest against a party that has failed all of us.

I do not know what is ahead of us now, but a sense of relief has overcome me at the fact that this campaign is over. The commercials from every angle have been atrocious. Shame on these candidates. Shame on their rabid power grabs that produce vile adverts which my children got barraged with while watching cartoons. FUCKING. CARTOONS. I often have to fumble around to mute the channel or not let them put the T.V. on at all.

My daughter saw the headline on the news this morning and began crying. She’s afraid that a friend of hers at school who’s family is Mexican is going to be sent away. I never wanted this to be an issue for them at this age and I have refrained from overt political talk around them. The cat has jumped from the bag and the genie has smashed the bottle.

On the drive to school, all I could bring myself to tell them was this: No matter who gets elected to be the president, as long as we focus on our family, our friends, and our neighbors, and remember to be kind and take care of those who are in need, it does not matter who lives in the White House. We need to be good people. I explained to the kids that this is not the first time and it will not be the last, that the country has elected someone that you may not like very much. To which my daughter replied, “I don’t like him at all!” and we all expelled a cathartic laugh.

I am distraught. However, the people that have been leading us for the last 30 years have failed us on both sides of the aisle. I am happy to watch them all squirm.

Hold each other close, people; things are going to get weird. Love yourselves and do right by your neighbor. Get out there and run for office to inspire change. Vote for third party candidates on every level of government. Buckle up and let’s get active.

The End is Nigh.

It has been several months since I have written anything for public consumption. No submissions made to sites I had begun to regularly provide content for; nothing from this blog that you are reading now. The lack of production has been weighing heavy on my mind, pushing me deep(er) into a writer’s block. My thoughts and ideas for articles screaming so loud that I almost hear nothing at all.

Towards the end of last year, I felt that I had really begun to hit a creative stride. I began to dip my toe in the waters of providing “content” for a small-scale marijuana advocacy blog, The Marijuana Free Press. After a couple of puff pieces for the site (pun sort of intended), I attended the Trump campaign rally in Chicago. It truly was life-altering and it led to a piece in which I could not be more proud.

That night, I had a live, front row seat to nearly every major topic on the nightly “news”. Black Lives Matter, Trump, his supporters, detractors, and a Chicago police force with their backs to the cliff’s edge; were all in attendance making the headlines in front of my eyes. It truly was a nightmare. How everyone made it out alive, I do not know.

Since the day that piece posted, I have been stymied by the sheer insanity the world appears to be steeped in. Trump, Hillary, gangs, guns. Orlando. Police shootings, Isis, alligators, and the F.B.I. Couple these things with the everyday stressors of having a wife and kids, and a day job that might be pointing me towards degree completion, but also may be shepherding me towards an early grave, etc…, and my need to “produce content” has nearly evaporated entirely.

Last night I found myself up late watching whatever MSNBC show that the spineless shill, Chris Hayes, hosts. The topic that I caught was on the election- more specifically, the Democratic nominees. Senator Bernie Sanders was interviewed by Hayes, all but admitting total defeat and his inevitable endorsement of the presumptive nominee, Hillary Clinton.

Of course Sanders will endorse Clinton. That is how this works.  With every election cycle, we go from “Don’t vote for the other guy because they will be horrible for the nation!” to “We need to stand behind this person because they are the nominee and they will be good for the country.” It is so

absolutely predictable and sickeningly abhorrent.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all about finally electing a female president. We are so long overdue on it, that it is just a hair shy of disgraceful. But Hillary Clinton? She narrowly escaped indictment by the feds. The investigation proved that what she was doing “wasn’t illegal”, but perhaps just unethical. It also proved how many lies Clinton was feeding the country in reference to there being “no classified information” being sent or received from her server. What a shame it is; to have Clinton as the inevitable nominee and potentially the first female president of these United States, and all she is, is another corporate political shill and a liar. But now, I digress into redundancy…

So here we stand, folks- on the precipice of quite possibly the most important election of our lifetime; left with a choice between another pair of liars. Another set of selfish ass clowns looking to get themselves inked into the hallowed pages of history, despite the fact that the history books they are chasing after will get swallowed by the sun some day and none of this crap will matter.

I am basically saying, I just don’t care anymore.  Republican, Democrat, black, white, Jewish, Muslim, Martian, I am done. And please know, I hate being the guy who says these types of things. Deep down I want to be someone who protests and marches and pounds the pavement so hard that it turns the system upside down. Maybe I still can be someday, but as for now, my faith in the entire process is on life support and I'm staying inside. Call me lazy, call me part of the problem, call me Al. You are probably right.

I hate to be the cynical one here, but the only way this all changes is with the old system being burned to the ground- metaphorically, literally, maybe even both. I am done trying to make sense of it all. I am done trying to justify these names and elections being used to produce “content”. These bastards don’t deserve it.

To draw this maniacal rant to a haphazard close, I just want to say this: my hope for a United States that is fair and just and colorblind and free from a bought-and-paid-for government is nearly completely snuffed out. How do we get to a better place as a society? Who the hell knows anymore? 

One thing I do know is that we don’t get there with safe spaces or trigger warnings. A more perfect union won’t happen with the quelling of speech that might offend or the shouting-down of ideas (no matter how ridiculous). And we sure as hell don’t get to a better place with good police officers standing tall in front of the vile ones, just for the sake of an unwritten code. Enough is enough.

I don’t know what to say anymore. Love each other, people. Stir shit up. Get out there and get weird because none of us are leaving this place alive.

A Mighty Wind Blows Toward Chicago

I am anxiously awaiting these hours at my day job to fly by for tonight, I will be attending a travelling circus in the city of Chicago. Donald Trump and his campaign are hosting an event at 6 p.m. C.S.T. and I have taken it upon myself to be there. Why I have made this decision is still not exactly clear to me but I have been telling myself that it is out of sheer morbid curiosity that I observe this display- whatever it happens to be.

When I first heard of Trump's plans to hold his rally at the University of Illinois Chicago, something told me that I just needed to get there and witness first-hand the zoo that has plagued our televisions and computer screens these last several months. When I first heard the radio advert for the rally, I figured I would turn the event into a writing assignment for myself. And so, as a contributor for the Marijuana Free Press, I applied for media credentials, a request that is still pending according to Donald Trump's campaign site, a mere seven hours before the event. Regardless, I have a general admission ticket and I will be on site.

To be completely transparent, I am not a Trump supporter. It seems to me that many of his positions, rhetoric, as well as his thin-skin make him an absolutely horrific prospect for the highest office in the land. I was always more inclined to lean towards candidates that hold positions on a cleaner climate, higher wages for the disintegrating working middle class, and more liberal on social issues.

Is Trump a tried-and-true Republican? I am not so sure, as he has back-handedly praised the Democrats and their positive impacts on the economy in the past. He is also quite obviously scaring the shit out of the current Republican establishment. Many people are actually comparing the man to Hitler, as has happened in almost every political campaign since the death of the micro-penised German dictator. I will say this: Trump is not Hitler. Hitler was Hitler. End of story.

I have been been racking my gourd trying to get to the heart of what the piece for the MFP would be. It has led me to several restless night, anxiety up the wazoo, and a nice healthy dose of mood swings. I had another night like that last night. I was pondering so much that my brain must have given way; I woke up in my bed at 11:30 p.m. without any recollection of lying down. I tossed and turned until it was time to get up for work at 5 a.m. My bones were stiff and my head ached. I'm also fairly certain that I have an ear infection. The question still lingered: Where was I going to go with this piece?

I was on my drive to work and it hit me...

"The American Dream"- it is the concept that sent Hunter Thompson on escapades of futility and madness and drunken debauchery. It might just be where I need to start...minus the drugs and debauchery, that is. I mean, I'm a father and a husband for Christ's sake. And I have a day job that I currently still need, so we will save the hallucinogenic-addled lunacy for another day. But I digress...

Just what exactly does Trump's rise in the polls and violence-spawning rallies signal for "The Dream"? This I do not know, but on its face and within my gut, it is frightful. 'The dream' used to be about living free and pursuing our own happiness, working hard and being able to raise a family in comfort stemming from that hard work; A strong working class breathing clean air, avoiding sending our sons and daughters to die in far away lands, and an American populace that works together despite our differences.

Those are the things (among many others) that signify the dream FOR ME. I am guessing that many of the people attending the rally tonight in earnest may not share any or all of my idealistic definitions for 'The Dream' but I'm willing to find out.

The dream seems to be dying alongside our waning middle class; with Americans in unparalleled debt from college, a stagnant minimum wage, and a tragic comedy of an electoral system, it is my contention that 'the dream' is circling the drain.

Call me crazy, but if you hand me a free front row ticket to just about anything, I'll be there. And who knows, maybe we are all really being duped by the "Lame Stream Media" and Trump has some good ideas that you never hear about on the news. Unlikely, yes, but hey, you never know.