Eagles of Metallic Death: Facilitating Our Own Demise

                                      

    By now, the majority of the world has learned of the savagery that took place in Paris last night. Bullets and suicide belts ripped through the city at nearly 10 p.m. local time, sending the metropolis into a frenzied chaos of terror and pain. 

    When I came across the newscasts at about 4:30 C.S.T. yesterday, the state of disbelief that came over me was swift, nearly paralyzing, and fleeting. Bombs, bullets, blood, and the deaths of the innocent are so common now that the world, I fear, no longer can remember a time without such things. My first gut reaction to these atrocities are pretty common, I imagine. "Enough of this horse shit. Muslims are nuts. Carpet bomb the Middle East! Kill all of these fuckers!"

    Enter my overt pessimism and cynical train of thought. As the events continued to unfold, I realized a couple of things:

1) The only thing the United States has left to do in the Middle East is to leave it behind. These savages don't really hate us because we eat cheeseburgers, drink booze, and let women drive. They hate the fact that we meddle in every country in the Islamic world. We have our greedy little tentacles into everything over there. In a statement released by the Islamic State taking credit for the mayhem, they say that "the smell of death will never leave their noses as long as they lead the convoy of the Crusader campaign, and dare to cures our prophet." In other words, "We will kill you until you get the fuck out." I believe, it is high time for us to am-scray. You can read the entire translated statement here.

2) Bombing religious freaks back to the stone age won't do anything, even though this is the knee-jerk reaction that seems the only way to get through to this ilk. We aren't battling the Nazis anymore. Dwight Eisenhower and Indiana Jones took care of that shit already.This is an ideological hydra we are talking about here. We know this already. Close the bases, bring our guys home, and point our armaments outward. Our resources and citizens are spent. It is time to walk softly, carrying a big stick made of enriched uranium.  

3) Attacks like this should be pinned on all of us. Hear me out...

    Psychopathic religious cult behavior is the fault of its leaders and the dumb-shit simpletons that follow the message, let us get that straight, first and foremost. But when you keep poking the murdering religious psycho with a large stick, they eventually snap. We continue to vote into office maniacal fanatics of other religions that refuse to leave these people alone because of all the sweet, sweet black gold underneath the brown people's feet. If you don't vote, as I am guilty of from time to time, you let these cretins take over the world, feeding the fires that forge these disgusting stains on humanity. We need to put an end to voter apathy, but we also need to put an end to voting in trigger-happy, nation-building, "democracy"-spreading "Christians". Right wing evangelism can no longer steamroll our political discourse. Humanity can't afford it.

    We must also take serious aim at the countries in Europe and the Middle East that time and again refuse to clean up their own mess. We need to let them fight their own civil wars. We need them to fight for what is best for their people. Our government should have the backs of those countries who care about the human rights of ALL of their citizens, not just the ones that have penises or aren't queer. But support does not equal boots on the ground and it certainly doesn't mean cramming democracy down throats.

    Joann Sfar, cartoonist for Charlie Hebdo magazine, had what I feel to be the best response to the carnage. One drawing in a series of reactionary cartoons said it best: "friends from the world, thank you for #prayfor paris, but we don't need more religion! our faith goes to music! kisses! Life! champagne and joy! #parisisaboutlife"

    I personally do not find it wrong to keep the affected in your mind or to send positive vibes in that direction. But I find what Sfar is saying to be quite poignant. These wolves roaming the street supposedly had God on their side. They prayed while preying on the unsuspecting lovers of life last night. Parisians historically do their damndest to live life to the fullest, freest extent possible. No more praying for things to change, actions are what will save us now.

   
    Where do we go from here, folks? First, we vote, vote, vote. We vote ONLY for those who seek to get us out of the Asian land wars. We vote ONLY for those that stand up to the disgusting Saudi Arabian government and their abhorrent civil rights record, as well as their promotion of this sort of radical violence perpetuated by those across the globe. Second, we cool it with the memes, the phony internet outrage. We do realize that most of us are putting in the same effort over the nearly two hundred dead in Paris as we did bitching that ignoramus fucking dentist that shot Cecil the lion, don't you? We need to get serious about this yesterday, ya dig?

E.O.D.M.

    Hold your kids and hug your friends because there are monsters out there, folks. Monsters that we may not be able to vanquish and monsters that we can only push back so far.

    On a related note and not to be relegated to the back burner, I am delighted to hear that the members of Eagles of Death Metal made it out of there physically intact. Although psychologically, they're probably pretty shredded. I also hope they become the biggest band in the world after this mess- they friggin' rock.