As I wait for Hillary Clinton to emerge from the dreariness of her hotel room to give her concession speech, I am hungover from a night of tension, anxiety, and cheap beer. My mind is somewhere that I cannot define. Deconstructed gray matter floating amidst a hazy ether of disbelief and relief. What now?
There are a few things that I would like to say. Before this election, I could not stand to watch the Democratic party that I belong to be so beholden to corporate campaign donors and in the primaries, I voted for a candidate that I felt exemplified the ideals of the Democratic party that I wished to be a part of. That candidate was thrown under the bus, run over, and buried by the shady career politicians that hijacked the Democratic National Committee.
I could not cast a vote for either of the candidates that ran in this election. My intuition was screaming at me loud and clear, my conscience would not allow it. Accuse me of being “part of the problem” of Clinton not getting elected but remember this: the state I live in went completely blue, with Clinton winning the popular vote and the electoral vote. I stand by my decision to write in my candidate. It was my small act of protest against a party that has failed all of us.
I do not know what is ahead of us now, but a sense of relief has overcome me at the fact that this campaign is over. The commercials from every angle have been atrocious. Shame on these candidates. Shame on their rabid power grabs that produce vile adverts which my children got barraged with while watching cartoons. FUCKING. CARTOONS. I often have to fumble around to mute the channel or not let them put the T.V. on at all.
My daughter saw the headline on the news this morning and began crying. She’s afraid that a friend of hers at school who’s family is Mexican is going to be sent away. I never wanted this to be an issue for them at this age and I have refrained from overt political talk around them. The cat has jumped from the bag and the genie has smashed the bottle.
On the drive to school, all I could bring myself to tell them was this: No matter who gets elected to be the president, as long as we focus on our family, our friends, and our neighbors, and remember to be kind and take care of those who are in need, it does not matter who lives in the White House. We need to be good people. I explained to the kids that this is not the first time and it will not be the last, that the country has elected someone that you may not like very much. To which my daughter replied, “I don’t like him at all!” and we all expelled a cathartic laugh.
I am distraught. However, the people that have been leading us for the last 30 years have failed us on both sides of the aisle. I am happy to watch them all squirm.
Hold each other close, people; things are going to get weird. Love yourselves and do right by your neighbor. Get out there and run for office to inspire change. Vote for third party candidates on every level of government. Buckle up and let’s get active.
It has been several months since I have written anything for
public consumption. No submissions made to sites I had begun to regularly
provide content for; nothing from this blog that you are reading now. The lack
of production has been weighing heavy on my mind, pushing me deep(er) into a
writer’s block. My thoughts and ideas for articles screaming so loud that I
almost hear nothing at all.
Towards the end of last year, I felt that I had really begun
to hit a creative stride. I began to dip my toe in the waters of providing
“content” for a small-scale marijuana advocacy blog, The Marijuana Free Press.
After a couple of puff pieces for the site (pun sort of intended), I attended
the Trump campaign rally in Chicago. It truly was life-altering and it led to a
piece in which I could not be more proud.
That night, I had a live, front row seat to nearly every
major topic on the nightly “news”. Black Lives Matter, Trump, his supporters, detractors,
and a Chicago police force with their backs to the cliff’s edge; were all in
attendance making the headlines in front of my eyes. It truly was a nightmare.
How everyone made it out alive, I do not know.
Since the day that piece posted, I have been stymied by the
sheer insanity the world appears to be steeped in. Trump, Hillary, gangs, guns.
Orlando. Police shootings, Isis, alligators, and the F.B.I. Couple these things
with the everyday stressors of having a wife and kids, and a day job that might
be pointing me towards degree completion, but also may be shepherding me
towards an early grave, etc…, and my need to “produce content” has nearly
evaporated entirely.
Last night I found myself up late watching whatever MSNBC
show that the spineless shill, Chris Hayes, hosts. The topic that I caught was
on the election- more specifically, the Democratic nominees. Senator Bernie
Sanders was interviewed by Hayes, all but admitting total defeat and his
inevitable endorsement of the presumptive nominee, Hillary Clinton.
Of course Sanders will endorse Clinton. That is how this
works. With every election cycle, we go
from “Don’t vote for the other guy because they will be horrible for the
nation!” to “We need to stand behind this person because they are the nominee
and they will be good for the country.” It is so
absolutely predictable and sickeningly abhorrent.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all about finally electing a female
president. We are so long overdue on it, that it is just a hair shy of
disgraceful. But Hillary Clinton? She narrowly escaped indictment by the feds.
The investigation proved that what she was doing “wasn’t illegal”, but perhaps
just unethical. It also proved how many lies Clinton was feeding the country in
reference to there being “no classified information” being sent or received
from her server. What a shame it is; to have Clinton as the inevitable nominee
and potentially the first female president of these United States, and all she
is, is another corporate political shill and a liar. But now, I digress into
redundancy…
So here we stand, folks- on the precipice of quite possibly
the most important election of our lifetime; left with a choice between another
pair of liars. Another set of selfish ass clowns looking to get themselves
inked into the hallowed pages of history, despite the fact that the history
books they are chasing after will get swallowed by the sun some day and none of
this crap will matter.
I am basically saying, I just don’t care anymore. Republican, Democrat, black, white, Jewish,
Muslim, Martian, I am done. And please know, I hate being the guy who says these types of
things. Deep down I want to be someone who protests and marches and pounds the pavement so hard that it turns the system upside down. Maybe I still can be someday, but as for now, my
faith in the entire process is on life support and I'm staying inside. Call me lazy, call me part of the problem, call me Al. You are probably right.
I hate to be the
cynical one here, but the only way this all changes is with the old system
being burned to the ground- metaphorically, literally, maybe even both. I am
done trying to make sense of it all. I am done trying to justify these names
and elections being used to produce “content”. These bastards don’t deserve it.
To draw this maniacal rant to a haphazard close, I just want
to say this: my hope for a United States that is fair and just and colorblind
and free from a bought-and-paid-for government is nearly completely snuffed
out. How do we get to a better place as a society? Who the hell knows anymore?
One thing I do know is that we don’t get there with safe spaces or trigger
warnings. A more perfect union won’t happen with the quelling of speech that
might offend or the shouting-down of ideas (no matter how ridiculous). And we
sure as hell don’t get to a better place with good police officers standing
tall in front of the vile ones, just for the sake of an unwritten code. Enough is
enough.
I don’t know what to say anymore. Love each other, people.
Stir shit up. Get out there and get weird because none of us are leaving this
place alive.
I am anxiously awaiting these hours at my day job to fly by for tonight, I will be attending a travelling circus in the city of Chicago. Donald Trump and his campaign are hosting an event at 6 p.m. C.S.T. and I have taken it upon myself to be there. Why I have made this decision is still not exactly clear to me but I have been telling myself that it is out of sheer morbid curiosity that I observe this display- whatever it happens to be.
When I first heard of Trump's plans to hold his rally at the University of Illinois Chicago, something told me that I just needed to get there and witness first-hand the zoo that has plagued our televisions and computer screens these last several months. When I first heard the radio advert for the rally, I figured I would turn the event into a writing assignment for myself. And so, as a contributor for the Marijuana Free Press, I applied for media credentials, a request that is still pending according to Donald Trump's campaign site, a mere seven hours before the event. Regardless, I have a general admission ticket and I will be on site.
To be completely transparent, I am not a Trump supporter. It seems to me that many of his positions, rhetoric, as well as his thin-skin make him an absolutely horrific prospect for the highest office in the land. I was always more inclined to lean towards candidates that hold positions on a cleaner climate, higher wages for the disintegrating working middle class, and more liberal on social issues.
Is Trump a tried-and-true Republican? I am not so sure, as he has back-handedly praised the Democrats and their positive impacts on the economy in the past. He is also quite obviously scaring the shit out of the current Republican establishment. Many people are actually comparing the man to Hitler, as has happened in almost every political campaign since the death of the micro-penised German dictator. I will say this: Trump is not Hitler. Hitler was Hitler. End of story.
I have been been racking my gourd trying to get to the heart of what the piece for the MFP would be. It has led me to several restless night, anxiety up the wazoo, and a nice healthy dose of mood swings. I had another night like that last night. I was pondering so much that my brain must have given way; I woke up in my bed at 11:30 p.m. without any recollection of lying down. I tossed and turned until it was time to get up for work at 5 a.m. My bones were stiff and my head ached. I'm also fairly certain that I have an ear infection. The question still lingered: Where was I going to go with this piece?
I was on my drive to work and it hit me...
"The American Dream"- it is the concept that sent Hunter Thompson on escapades of futility and madness and drunken debauchery. It might just be where I need to start...minus the drugs and debauchery, that is. I mean, I'm a father and a husband for Christ's sake. And I have a day job that I currently still need, so we will save the hallucinogenic-addled lunacy for another day. But I digress...
Just what exactly does Trump's rise in the polls and violence-spawning rallies signal for "The Dream"? This I do not know, but on its face and within my gut, it is frightful. 'The dream' used to be about living free and pursuing our own happiness, working hard and being able to raise a family in comfort stemming from that hard work; A strong working class breathing clean air, avoiding sending our sons and daughters to die in far away lands, and an American populace that works together despite our differences.
Those are the things (among many others) that signify the dream FOR ME. I am guessing that many of the people attending the rally tonight in earnest may not share any or all of my idealistic definitions for 'The Dream' but I'm willing to find out.
The dream seems to be dying alongside our waning middle class; with Americans in unparalleled debt from college, a stagnant minimum wage, and a tragic comedy of an electoral system, it is my contention that 'the dream' is circling the drain.
Call me crazy, but if you hand me a free front row ticket to just about anything, I'll be there. And who knows, maybe we are all really being duped by the "Lame Stream Media" and Trump has some good ideas that you never hear about on the news. Unlikely, yes, but hey, you never know.
December 8th marks the 35th anniversary of the gruesome murder of John Lennon. The Beatle, the Hollywood Vampire, the lover of sort-of-creepy Japanese Avant Garde artists, was gunned down after being hunted on the streets of New York for a week by an obese lunatic with an enthusiastic esteem for J.D. Salinger. Such a pathetic tragedy...
On December the 8th, 1980, the world found itself without the likes of John Lennon in it. The knowledge coming in the form of a grizzly scene in the front courtyard of The Dakota on Manhattan's Upper West Side. The world mourned, the tributes came, and life began to carry on without John Lennon...
Ever since I first got roped into the rabbit hole that is the music of The Beatles, I was always a "John guy". He was a middle-of-the-road guitar player but could sing the holy Hell out of rock and roll songs, both of his own penmanship and covers of some of the best Rock and R&B to come out of the fifties and early sixties. John's history of thumbing his nose at establishment-types is something that millions, if not billions of us humans can relate to.
Some people are a "George", some are a "Paul", and weirdos like my mom are "Ringos", But me, I proudly wave my JWOL flag high-always have, always will. But it was most definitely my parents and aunts and uncles that turned all of The Beatles, their arc, the demise, and continuing mythos, into modern day legends of music.
An article circulated around the interwebs a few months ago, obviously written by people who never sat through 'The Beatles Anthology', touting, "shocking footage of John Lennon mocking persons with disabilities, outraging his fans." The volcano-like eye roll that occurred in my skull nearly caused a brain bleed and my early demise. It was then that it finally hit me, that the saga of The Beatles and John Lennon continue to evolve with each generation.
Over the better part of 20+ years of my John Lennon fandom, I have dipped in and out of trying to align my sense of self into a crunchy, hippy-dippy, make love not war, guy. I have tried and failed several times to maintain a mindset that believes "All you need is love." John always seemed to be the guy that lived at the absolute pinnacle of a peaceful, zen existence. Then one starts reading the autobiographies of his friends and lovers from the sixties and seventies, and some truths are given...
By the collective accounts of Cynthia Lennon, his first wife, May Pang, a former mistress, and other fellow musicians, Lennon could be a not-so-peaceful dude. He basically traded a healthy relationship with his eldest son, Julian, for sex, drugs, and rock & roll. He could be a nasty, violent drunk who choked women- a real monster.
It down right stinks to learn of these things being a Lennon-lifer, as I am. I try and justify a lot of John's darker side to an artistic temperment or perhaps his having coming of age in a different time. I realized a few years ago that my maternal grandparents are only three years older than Lennon had been. A generation born at the beginning of World War II, inventing rock & roll, and many turning into full fledged hippies. Not my grandparents, though....nope. They are as conservative as they come, without a hint of patchouli oil anywhere near them.
John and Yoko
I thing to keep in mind: his was a generation that grew up with "retard" being a medical term, okay? Women stayed home and knew their place, and martinis better be mixed when the man walked in the door, dammit. It was an archaic way of life for awhile, there...John was born into it. Hippy, zen, house husband or not, he still carried the weight of being raised at a time of outdated social norms.
That isn't in any way an attempt to gloss over shitty behavior- because if you hit a woman, or abandon your kid, or turn into a raging alcoholic, you are most definitely an asshole. Which, as it turns out, John Winston Ono Lennon most definitely could be one. But so could I, and YOU most definitely can be an asshole sometimes, too.
So where is it that I stand in my reverence for John Lennon? Honestly, I'm not entirely sure anymore. He still wrote the lion's share of my favorite Beatles tunes, he still fought the swine Richard Nixon, and rallied for peace. Lennon is still a poet and artist of the highest caliber to me, but the idolization has waned a bit.
A man that can be well-placed in the "do as I say, not as I do" category, Lennon is still definitely among the most interesting of Mother R&R's bastard sons. An angry man in search of peace, a junkie in search of sobriety, and an artist seeking truth.
I just want to remind all of you rational-minded folks out there that it is okay to seperate a flawed artist from the art that he produces. Can we possibly leave John and the rest of The Beatles in a place without trigger warnings about being offended by "new unreleased footage (that has existed for 50 years)" of John Lennon making fun of disabled people? Can we let it slide? Can we see the flawed humanity in one another? I think I can, but I'm not so sure about the generations to come.
John Lennon left millions of fans wondering what the world would be like if he still inhabit it, myself included. I hate to feel as if he'd be jaded by all of this violence in the world, but my feeling is he would be. I bet he would have hated 'Dubya', though, and that kind of makes me smile.
Rest in Peace, John Lennon. Most of us down/up here still miss the crap out of you- even those of us who were born after you were gone.
By now, the majority of the world has learned of the savagery that took place in Paris last night. Bullets and suicide belts ripped through the city at nearly 10 p.m. local time, sending the metropolis into a frenzied chaos of terror and pain.
When I came across the newscasts at about 4:30 C.S.T. yesterday, the state of disbelief that came over me was swift, nearly paralyzing, and fleeting. Bombs, bullets, blood, and the deaths of the innocent are so common now that the world, I fear, no longer can remember a time without such things. My first gut reaction to these atrocities are pretty common, I imagine. "Enough of this horse shit. Muslims are nuts. Carpet bomb the Middle East! Kill all of these fuckers!"
Enter my overt pessimism and cynical train of thought. As the events continued to unfold, I realized a couple of things:
1) The only thing the United States has left to do in the Middle East is to leave it behind. These savages don't really hate us because we eat cheeseburgers, drink booze, and let women drive. They hate the fact that we meddle in every country in the Islamic world. We have our greedy little tentacles into everything over there. In a statement released by the Islamic State taking credit for the mayhem, they say that "the smell of death will never leave their noses as long as they lead the convoy of the Crusader campaign, and dare to cures our prophet." In other words, "We will kill you until you get the fuck out." I believe, it is high time for us to am-scray. You can read the entire translated statement here.
2) Bombing religious freaks back to the stone age won't do anything, even though this is the knee-jerk reaction that seems the only way to get through to this ilk. We aren't battling the Nazis anymore. Dwight Eisenhower and Indiana Jones took care of that shit already.This is an ideological hydra we are talking about here. We know this already. Close the bases, bring our guys home, and point our armaments outward. Our resources and citizens are spent. It is time to walk softly, carrying a big stick made of enriched uranium.
3) Attacks like this should be pinned on all of us. Hear me out...
Psychopathic religious cult behavior is the fault of its leaders and the dumb-shit simpletons that follow the message, let us get that straight, first and foremost. But when you keep poking the murdering religious psycho with a large stick, they eventually snap. We continue to vote into office maniacal fanatics of other religions that refuse to leave these people alone because of all the sweet, sweet black gold underneath the brown people's feet. If you don't vote, as I am guilty of from time to time, you let these cretins take over the world, feeding the fires that forge these disgusting stains on humanity. We need to put an end to voter apathy, but we also need to put an end to voting in trigger-happy, nation-building, "democracy"-spreading "Christians". Right wing evangelism can no longer steamroll our political discourse. Humanity can't afford it.
We must also take serious aim at the countries in Europe and the Middle East that time and again refuse to clean up their own mess. We need to let them fight their own civil wars. We need them to fight for what is best for their people. Our government should have the backs of those countries who care about the human rights of ALL of their citizens, not just the ones that have penises or aren't queer. But support does not equal boots on the ground and it certainly doesn't mean cramming democracy down throats.
Joann Sfar, cartoonist for Charlie Hebdo magazine, had what I feel to be the best response to the carnage. One drawing in a series of reactionary cartoons said it best: "friends from the world, thank you for #prayfor paris, but we don't need more religion! our faith goes to music! kisses! Life! champagne and joy! #parisisaboutlife"
I personally do not find it wrong to keep the affected in your mind or to send positive vibes in that direction. But I find what Sfar is saying to be quite poignant. These wolves roaming the street supposedly had God on their side. They prayed while preying on the unsuspecting lovers of life last night. Parisians historically do their damndest to live life to the fullest, freest extent possible. No more praying for things to change, actions are what will save us now.
Where do we go from here, folks? First, we vote, vote, vote. We vote ONLY for those who seek to get us out of the Asian land wars. We vote ONLY for those that stand up to the disgusting Saudi Arabian government and their abhorrent civil rights record, as well as their promotion of this sort of radical violence perpetuated by those across the globe. Second, we cool it with the memes, the phony internet outrage. We do realize that most of us are putting in the same effort over the nearly two hundred dead in Paris as we did bitching that ignoramus fucking dentist that shot Cecil the lion, don't you? We need to get serious about this yesterday, ya dig?
E.O.D.M.
Hold your kids and hug your friends because there are monsters out there, folks. Monsters that we may not be able to vanquish and monsters that we can only push back so far.
On a related note and not to be relegated to the back burner, I am delighted to hear that the members of Eagles of Death Metal made it out of there physically intact. Although psychologically, they're probably pretty shredded. I also hope they become the biggest band in the world after this mess- they friggin' rock.
Tuesday night's debate on CNN with the Democratic Presidential hopefuls proved to all of us many things. It reminded us of Hillary Clinton's experience in today's political game; a verbal Jiu-Jitsu artist of the highest caliber. We were also reaffirmed of the fact that candidates Lincoln Chafee, Martin O'Malley, and Jim Webb, are absolutely nowhere near contention for our land's highest office.
Another thing that became abundantly clear tonight, was that Bernie Sanders is truly a man on fire. Like him or not, the buzzard is passionate. He chose to use his opening statement not to introduce himself and his record like the previous candidtes, but to reiterate what he has being saying for years. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, and the middle class is disappearing, yadda, yadda, yadda... I agree with Sanders on many fronts, but he is far from perfect. His near-unelectability is severely depressing. The world needs to change in a big, bad way and this man is saying most of the right things. But alas, he calls himself a Democratic Socialist, and people are pissing their pants and grabbing their guns.
The candidates: Webb, Bern, Hill, Baltimore, and Chafed
Sanders and his views for our nation are without a doubt, highly idealistic. It is the United States living in an alternate reality of no war, fair trade, cooperation between every and all countries, and a fair shake for all- a world without terror or greed. We do not inhabit that place in the space-time continuum.
The moderator of the event was CNN's own Anderson Cooper, who I felt did a fantastic job seeing over the dog and pony show in front of the Washington elite. The front rows filled with the candidate's wives foaming at the chance to be First Lady. Cooper's first questions for each Democratic hopeful went for the jugular of each candidate. He may not have had a hand in writing the questions, but god dammit, the man is earning his money over there at CNN.
Jim Webb
Bernie proved himself to be a class act in choosing to condemn the distracting questions about Hillary's emails, which prompted a fairly awkward handshake from Clinton amongst the raucous applause. If she broke the law, she should go to jail. If bi-partisan committees keep finding nothing on her, quit spending the money and let's move on to more important issues.
I must say, though, that Jim Webb is beyond underrated. There is something about a decorated soldier that pursues peace- something that is difficult to describe at the moment, but it hits me right in the cockles. Despite coming off as a bit of a "Hank Hill", Webb would be a solid choice for Veep.
Lincoln Chafee
Lincoln Chafee, a cross between Steve Doocy and a ventriloquist's dummy, seems like a nice guy. He gave a better showing tonight than I would have thought he had in him. He defended himself well when asked why he's changed political parties so much- he's actually competed the trifecta by going from Republican to Independent to Democrat in his political career. But Chaffee's skittish demeanor makes one feel that his voice may nervously crack while sitting in high-level meetings. He means well, cabinet material maybe, but he's out.
Martin O'Malley was the Mayor of Baltimore. It is in my opinion, that a Democratic Socialist like Bernie Sanders has a better shot at being elected to the White House than a guy that once ran the city that turned into Kabul this year.
Martin O'Malley
It hurts me to say it, but the clear front-runner for the Democrats in this "Definition of Insanity" race, is Hillary Clinton. She is a master of such an odd mix of spin, deception, and like-ability. She knows this maze; she has balls that are probably bigger than mine. Clinton is on home field with the scandals, the haters, and the praise. Clinton sparred with Sanders like a true master of her craft. She will more than likely grab the nod for the presidency and if she goes up against a guy like Donald Trump, she'll have it. It hurts to say, but I fear it may be true.
With nearly all questions lobbed at him tonight ranging from the middle class, the wars in the Middle East, and economic and social "justice", Bernie Sanders had one hell of a fire under his ass and in his eyes. You can tell that the man really wants things to be better for people, regardless of how you feel about his methods for achieving such loftiness. His hair is fucked and he is an articulate bastard. He gives a damn about the environment and working people. I only wish we could find ourselves living on a version of Earth that these ideals are pushed to the forefront in debates like these. Sanders' political party title scares people and it may take the dying off of a couple more generations to get us there- that is if ISIS doesn't get us first (el oh el).
The Hill and The Bern
Bernie gets himself in hot water when he is pressed on his true feelings of our capitalist society; not willing to say that he considers himself a capitalist (shriek!), but also echoing the populist feelings that today's capitalism sticks it to the little guy and disproportionately favors an elite class of money hoarding beasts.
Like him or not, people, Bernie Sanders talks a big game and has a lot of people behind him that hold many of his same ideals. Never underestimate a determined man with crazy hair and an army of hippies. The country is inevitably going to need to move more to the left on many of these social issues in order to survive. We need a strong middle class and a clean environment, which is possible to achieve without becoming crazy commies like the devil Scandinavians.
